Typings of an activist

So an update on things

2011-06-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

Ah! So I left on a bad note and really didn't say much.

The test was negative! It was so calming to hear the news. I admit, when it comes to my own life I am a bit of a fatalist. It happens. I was just. I don't know what it was. I had already accepted that I would die of liver failure. I was ready to go quietly without anyone knowing. Possibly die in a blaze of glory before hand and just go. I wanted that. I needed that at a point.

If anything. The whole happening of events, the break downs, sobs, hysterics, guilt, pain, fear, happiness, shame, nightmares, dreams, fantasies. They have made me realize I need to move on with my life. "Get busy living or get busy dying." I realize with me life I was living as a could to the fullest and in a mindless bombardment of 'amens' and 'hallelujahs' cause I was getting busy living by trying to get busy dying. If that makes sense. Pushing against the edges to taste death. To kiss her crumbling bones and call her my own. Cause that was my love in a way. And at the same time of not wanting it, I craved it. Desired it to the point it would consume my lunges more than any cigarette or smoke that could sneak through my veins. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't be that forever.

I went home recently. Oh yea, I ended the Spring semester and went home for a little over two weeks. My mother noticed I had matured. Moved on I guess from my past. In a way the news from the blood tests changed things. Its just. Just. Blood. It seems to always follow me. Funny huh? Every corner I turn it plays in my life in some way. Maybe I'll talk about it later. One day. Further. Until then I have to hope that the test was correct and I am negative. Maybe there is a chance it is wrong and it was a false negative. I need to do another one in September to double verify I feel like. But we gotta keep moving and hope the lord has done something to give us guidance. I was once blind, damn. I probably am still going on recovering, but I'm recovering. I'm trying. I try.

Blood tests...

2011-03-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

So today I went to go get my second blood tests. Finally. I have been avoiding the situation for months now (since I found out in December). It is avoidance, as well as work being always there. A doctor's appointment seems so far away.

It was painless though. In and out. Hopefully it won't cost too much because I have no health insurance right now...but I was planning on paying in cash anyways. I want to keep as many records of my appointments off the books while I can. I don't want to cause any unnesacary worrying to my family if it comes back negative. But in reality I don't know what will happen. I think that is why I want the test. To get another full 'yes' or 'no' on my situation. I think I will cry whatever the results are though. Happy if negative, sad acceptance if it is positive.

I just have to accept that we can change life as much as we want, but we must accept things we can't change. Hep C has no real current cure and if diagnosed, you can take anti-viral medicine, but it is more like cancer. You go into remission. Sure, there are a ton of people that live healthy lives after being tested, but I know currently in my life my fear of diagnosis keeps me from really wanting to connect to people, especially physically connect with people. I couldn't take it if I knew I had "infected" someone with what I have (if positive). Sometimes the fear of not knowing is so great it racks on your brain. The 'gray zone' we are sometimes in when it comes to life. But I will see. They are telling my possibly 3 days to get my results in. Then I may possibly know. Possibly. I just have to hope for the best.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

So it has been awhile

2011-03-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have decided I am going to attempt to bring back this blog and see where it takes me. I know no one really reads it, but I want to put something out there that isn't my livejournal (which no one will ever have access to because I rant and whine only on it). I want to put myself out there as much as I can, without out telling too much at the same time. It is my attempt to bring me back to honesty and document myself. So here it goes.

I am sick.

Not just in the "I am mentally sick" but also in I may be possibly by physically sick.

I tested positive for Hepatitis C in December 2010. I am 21.

I don't know what this means for my future, what it will do in the long run, but I tested positive for the anti-bodies and when a second test was run I tested negative.

I don't know what to do.

It is something I think no one is really looking to hear when they go to the doctor. What could be wrong with you. I was in a funk for awhile (and sometime get back in) when I think about it. I am young, slightly healthy. What could cause it?

Possibly the other aspect of me that is "sick."

I've been a cutter for 8 years. Since 2003 I started and have gone in and out of 'recovery.' It is a hard habit to kick, and in the past months I have had to experience some rough times with it. But it is what it is, and I have to accept it for what it is.

I want this blog to keep talking about my work in the community (which is now focused on education), but it will be in the back drop of my personal state right now. A young woman who is a recovering cutter, possible positive Hep C person, and mostly lesbian but bisexual Southerner. I want to be honest with myself and others for once. Or at least try to.

2009-03-11T19:38:00.001-07:00

Things turn and go and I wonder where I go

2009-02-27T17:31:00.000-08:00

It has been an interesting time thus far in City Year. I spend moments where I feel like "this is what I want to do with my life" and others where I am torn in each direction and I sit down wondering who I am.

It may have a lot to do with my kids. They are all very dynamic. They all are a bit active, in a behavior sort of way. One of my students was kicked out of our after school program and I don't know how to handle it. Almost like I don't know what the point pf the program is without him anymore. And I think the thing that bothers me the most is I didn't try to defend him. I let him leave, and I guess I feel weak, like I should have fought for him. But really...I don't know. Repeating past mistakes and hoping that in the morning no one will know. I don't know. I just don't know.

Registraion day and a second chance for the city to redeem itself

2008-08-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

Today we registered with City Year. Nothing much really. Filled out paper work, I'm sure I may have intialled somewhere I gave part of my soul to some group...hopefully City Year. That was about it. I got lost getting off South Station to go to the post office. Lucky me though, there are some good people in this town. When I was almost hit by a car the guy stopped real quick then stopped to see if I was okay. I didn't really get hit, but I jumped a bit. Another guy walked me to the post office while he was on his lunch break so I wouldn't be lost more. So I was ridiculously happy about all this. I also meet another guy. He is from Mississippi and was trying to get donations for the Democratic National Convention. When I told him I was from Louisiana he basically jumped from his skin. Nice dude as well. Altogether, the city is getting slowly redeemed in kindness.

So why the big deal? Well, I personally believe the South is a very friendly place. Some people may disagree on this, but altogether I think people will try to be as kind as possible to you if they can. I was raised to be polite and to help others when I see them in distress (this includes looking very lost on a corner of a street). It promotes a fellowship between people and allows everyone to feel like they are not completely lost in the world. Just my opinion. I just think we all have to work with each. When you give up on people, you give up on humanity.

Moving in and getting in

2008-08-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

So I am in Boston, MA for those of you who do not know. I will be here for about a year for a non-profit organization called City Year. I flew out on Tuesday (August 19th) and picked up the keys for the house. It has been interesting thus far. Four of the seven roommates have moved in and the other three will be here next Tuesday (the 26th). In this time I have become more "acquainted" with the city, figured out Craig's list is not the best to get a bed (which I will not have until the 28th), and also that I miss people. Today saw my parents off to the airport. It was weird I guess. Seeing them go and all. My mom and dad were crying. Stef was more yea you'll be back in a year. I miss Momo and my friends. I like my roommates, they are nice, but sometimes I feel like I am skirting on edges with some topics or other things. Don't get me wrong they are good people, I just am still getting a feel for everyone around. Here.

We've done a lot while we were here. Me and dad mostly did house things while Stef and mom did more touring. We ate ate at a few places. Mike's pastry was the only place wotrth talking about, the rest were over priced and okay. Oh, and Plymouth is nice. I wonder if I can find a bus to it. Well Here are pictures of the house for ya'll. I'll post my room pictures when I get everything moved in.

Can Building a Fence Really Change Things?

2008-07-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

I signed up for a research paper assignment at LSU to see if I could test out of English 2000. Yea, I know I could just take the class, but I am a firm believer in testing out of as many subjects as humanly possible so I can focus more on my major. Well, after finally being able to enroll for the online challenge, we were given all of our readings and data for the paper. The topic: illegal immigration. So I have to form a somewhat arguable point for it. The questions for the essay will be posted on the 17th at 1 am and the actual paper will be due on the 20th. I've read over the resources and I guess I kind of want to throw my thoughts down somewhere.

So the issue. People talk about it, but there really isn't a course established to deal with the issue. Really, I personally see it as the big screw up of America. The issue that was pushed aside for years to an extent. It is an accumulation of a failing economy, corruption, and lack of unity. I know I hear my dad say it all the time, "if we allow the illegals in they will use are tax money for health care and education. They are failing our schools, and those bastards won't learn English. They are not merging into our culture." But really, what is the American United States culture? If anything we are a land of opportunities for economic prosperity. We do not have an official language. We do not have a long history or some sort of background that people can feel the have roots in. Native Americans are the only long lasting group that has been in the States and if we know anything about history, the government, *cough* Andrew bastard-burn- Jackson *cough* spit on everything that culture stood for. It was only until the 1950s did the idea of preservering the REAL culture of the United States did we do anything. If there is no culture, but nationalism and the idea for opportunities then doesn't every immigrant share that? Yes, a lot of illegals are not learning English. I can't really deny that, but each community only merges in so far. Look at the African American community. Not to sound racist, but even though, yes they do speak English, we have labeled them as knowing 'ebonics.' People, this is something people go to college to study. We force people to learn English in the schools, but at home the speak something different. Maybe if we nationalized English we wouldn't have such a hard time with some immigrants, but the fact is we are being a bunch of hypocrites if we say that we should force someone to learn English when really they only need to know enough to get by. So anyways...

Then there is the issue of failing schools. Well, schools are already failing, but the government wants a scapegoat. Yea, maybe that is not completely true. Sure, when an influx of Spanish speaking students come in, the curriculum changes to accommodate for them, many times sacrificing the needs of other students and straining the school financially. I see this. But the thing I can't help knowing is this. OUR SCHOOLS ARE FAILING THE KIDS. Trust me. I see it everyday in Louisiana. What the hell do the public schools teach? One thing I can tell you is they aren't teaching them anything. I was teaching a 14 year old boy how to do basic multiplication in an after school program in the inner city of Baton Rouge. Most of the kids there, averaging between the ages 12-18, were drop outs. Not just high school drop outs, middle school drop outs who were already involved in gangs. Sure, this is in Louisiana, but what is that to say of other inner city schools? Illegal immigrants bring their families, and that includes children. If anything we should see the children as innocent and provide them with what they need, education and health care, but health care is for another paragraph. So what should be done? Why don't we move some of the money that goes into weaponry and focus on the children? Improve education, set up more technical colleges, and provide some pride in the workforce and blue collar jobs. We need to stop out sourcing and bring jobs back home. If anything good has come out dieing dollar is the fact that it is expensive to have businesses over seas, and companies are relocating back in the states. One good thing seen at least. The education system has to be completely reformed, and in the reformation Spanish speaking children need to be included in the course. If English is not going to be the official language, it should be enforced in the schools and after school programs. I am not sure on the ESL program in the United States, and I am going to ask one of friends about it a little more before I rant again....

So what about the said 12 million immigrants in the United States? Well to thing we can put them all on a bus back to Mexico is completely ludicrous. Really, what the hell are we? There needs to be a way to bring them in the country. Mention amnesty and every single conservative will scream. So what do we do? Sure, we need to go through all of them but how? I admit, I am for the proposals that call for illegals to pay a fee to enter a program that will lead to citizenship. The persons in said program would submit documentation, and yes, there is a chance they would not be accepted, but usually it would be for individuals who did illegal activities, such as CRIMINAL activities that do not include staying at BREC park past dusk. Yes, it would be required to learn English, pay taxes, or anything else Congress would say in needed. I would personally also have people be enrolled in some sort of community service in the schools if I had it my way, but whatevs. Also, I would say they needed to be involved in the local politics they are living in so they can have a better process of learning the system and seeing how they can help. Yea, maybe I am a hippie. So what?

Now one thing I think that would make all this better is if we increase the number of immigrants we allow into this country. There is a set margin for each country, and an overall set amount for all countries. Increase. We need more green cards, work visas, everything. Apparently the system is not working, why do we keep with what we have? Before the 70s, immigrants came in no matter what. There wasn't a cap. Now there is, and we need to reform it to make the process better or do away with it and start from scratch.

I'll admit, working in Mexico has altered my view on things. I have always been for immigration, but when you actually see people jumping on trains and then the driver tells you who they are, and then says that they lose body parts sometimes to get on that train. Well, your view changes. I was born into this country, and I know I take it for granted, so why not help someone who won't?

So what can a fence do? Just be a symbol that the USA won't take it anymore? Whatevs. How about we put the money we would use the fence for into reform and maybe things would work out better?

What do you think?

on a lighter note, Jib Jab!

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A Reflection on Things since I have been back

2008-07-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

So. Hello world! Yes I know. I kind of stopped updating after a period of time. I miss Mexico. I always feel close to the place, the people, the air. I have been back for over a month now. My family was very kind to me, and I miss them. Luis Carlos, Dulce, Rita, Melow. I miss them. It is odd how you can live with people and form a connection with them. Hm. Well, I hope I can go back next year. Mr. John mentioned in passing that in awhile, if I felt comfortable with it, he would be ready to pass on the technology in the schools to me. If it is true, I am super pumped. I would love to do that. It is something that I always wanted to work with. And now that internet is connected up there, or at least in the process of getting up, it means more opportunities for the kids! The possibilities! I hope City Year doesn't prevent me from going back next year...

Speaking of City Year. It is official. I am going to Boston for August 19th! Can you believe it? For the longest time I thought I would be staying in Louisiana. I really did. I didn't think I would be going, but things are working out. I have TOPS on hold, a house, roommates, things just seem to be working out!

I am happy I guess. Decent as usual. I think I am actually going to miss Louisiana. I mean, at first I didn't care. But now I don't want to leave Momo or Travis. I really do care about them. I haven't volunteered at ASAP with Healing Place in a long time, and I think of Trey, Aleya, and Nick. I hop they are doing okay. I feel bad I won't be able to tutor there with them...

All I can do is hope this is what I am supposed to do and go with it. I can't look back. Everytime I do I get pushed further back. I have to keep moving.

Shuffle Your Feet

2008-06-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sooo...

I haven't updated in a while and I can really just give a summary of things.
Work and Play.

It has been fun so far. I think I am falling into my family life more. Since they only speak Spanish I was having some issues in the beginning, but for the most part everyone tries to talk to me and in turn I try to listen to what they are saying to me. Ah, it makes me feel better.

Well, we are still working at the same school. Today (Monday June 9th, 2008) most of the girls went to another school to work while I stayed behind working. There are some issues with networking that we have to work out. Israel was wondering and all about connection speed. He was asking what can you do if you have 5 computers online, and one downloads a video. Here, that one download will take forever and limit the connection of all the others. See. The internet in Mexico is completely government controlled. Connection speed in the schools are 1 mbps...no matter what. Websites, everything is controlled. Even the TVs. Even though the government is usually not there to help out. There will be caged TVs and no key. Why? Government doesn't trust the people. So yea. Claire and I are going to look into what they have set up for a connection, router, switch, etc, and see what we can do. Also, the power situation in the room has been fixed and we have 24 computers in the room. It was cool. I talked to Martin and Israel a lot. I shouldn't judge as quickly as I do. I was looking at Martin's computer, the teacher, and I noticed he had a kid for the background. He said it was his daughter Maria Jose. She is 1 year and 4 months old. He has no ring on his finger and I thought that he just left the mom and could see her on a limited basis. In reality, I think the mom died, he didn't say, and he is a single father. I really admire him. He is a very kind guy and I kind of wise I knew more Spanish so I could talk to him, befriend him more and get to know him.

Now for play!
This past Sunday (June 8th, 2008) we went to Casa Hogar! If you do not remember, that is the orphanage that I visited last year. It was awesome. Some of the kids pointed at me and said the remembered me. Once again we were feed a wonderful meal and had our asses kicked, though we won, by the kids. I love them. They are truly amazing. I had one friend, Elie, from last year. At first I did not see her in the group because her hair in longer, but when she came up to me I remembered. There was one player, Danille, that was nice. He spoke some English and was on our team for futbol. Ah. I love them. Last year I didn't cry, but this time...I broke. I cried. Yes, I did. Not much, but enough for Elie to be upset. I am sure they have people crying all the time. But that doesn't mean those people love them enough to adopt them. I would adopt Elie. I would. I would have to teach her English...but I would. But then I don't think I could come back to play with the kids...because they would ALL want to come home with me. I think I cried though because I knew I may not be able to come back. I hope I can. I really do. I want to make her something. Some gift. A bracelet. Something. Ah I miss her...

Oh, and Claire y yo broke the rules and went to a club! Yea. Club Moo. It is supposedly a bad place now. Drug deals and all. It seemed okay when we went. You can tell that there is more security then when I went last. So yea. Drank and danced. Oh, was I buzzed. And apparently I can dance well. Though I think Dulce was humoring me. Oh well.

So now I am in my room. Listening to BRMC and wanting to go to San Francisco.

Another Night Where Things Seem to Turn out Right

2008-06-06T22:46:00.001-07:00

June 6^th, 2008.

The day thus far has been interesting. We had a lot of work to be done at the school. I have to say, if there was a large bag that I could pull a huge I told you so out to Francisco and Israel I would because you know what...I TOLD THEM SO. See. The room we worked in at first wanted 28 computers. We did that and made a few more just in case they had some issues. Well. There are only 5 outlets. The rule is basically four per. I told Francisco, but he said that since we were not sure we should take the risk and put 30 in. Well...once we got everything plugged in. There breakers flipped. And well. I told you so. So it was annoying. We didn't know at first, it was only when we noticed one half of the room shut off that it hit us. So yea. Apparently this is the deal. The room can hold 30 computers but when a computer starts up it needs more amps than when running. Turning them all on, over kill. So yea. There were 6 plugs, but one was sparking at us and it was a 2 prong with no grounder. So yea. We were told that by 4 in the afternoon there would be an electrician to come by and make sure that they split the lines in the room so they are not running into the same board and won't over power like it did. Small steps. See, some girls were really frustrated. The deal is with El Fondo, the schools we go into our supposed to be ready to go. Desks should be in there, cleaned, and no issues with the power. At this school, there were no desks in the room, we had to move them...and it was clearly seen that the power situation was not worked out all the way. So yes. The president Marisol was pissed that the school didn't keep their end of the bargain. We did the work, but I'm sure she had some choice words for the peps. It was fun though. I like working. Even though I do feel weak because I do not have coffee...oh, I need coffee badly...just badly...

So after lunch, we went to another dance class...where yet again I broke another shoe. That is two shoes! I see it as a sign that I am not supposed to be dancing. Anyways. Afterwards we went to El Fondo and we talked to Marisol. She is really cool. Marisol is the head of El Fondo, president and all. We got to ask her questions in Spanish and she always looked at me when she talked. I was touched, and I understood most of what she was saying and that made me feel better. So yes. Apparently she is the elite of Mexico. Meaning, she is on the top of the social scene of Cordoba. John was also talking about how she was always at all the ribbon cuttings for El Fondo as well. So yea. She is awesome.

Altogether I have had a good night. I went out with my sister today. I thought we were supposed to go to a movie, but Claire and I ended up in the same sports bar I frequented many times last year. It was fun. There was a guy named Luise and another one named Cansulo. They were awesome. Anyways.

I have to say there is something about Mexico. Just me and Dulce wandering the streets. No words spoke, no stars in the sky, but the street lights and the homes. The silence and the smell. The air. Sometimes, when I am with a friend or feel I connected with someone on another level, I feel and think. Yea, I could stay here...

Oh the wonderful ability to let go.

And it continues with work

2008-06-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Thursday:

So Today, thus far, I went to work mostly. It was fun. We are actually putting the computers up in the room. We had an idea of every other computer be on the floor, but sometimes the floors do get wet when it rains. The have no AC so they always leave the windows open. If it rains, they can't teach. So yeah. As of now there are 30 computers in the room. I freaked a bit because there are only 6 outlets and I think you can only have four computer per out...I think, that or it was four for each plug. I am not sure. I was just worried and I think I annoyed the piss out of Franciso and Israel. I am pretty sure I did...oh well. As of now I am in the house. Hanging. Not much to do. No one is here but Angelina and yea..

So the day continues. I actually had this typed up somewhere but it didn't save...oh well. Anyways. The cultural activity was to go to the restaurant in El Centro and we made a corn cake. IT is like cornbread...but sweet. Afterwards we walked around El Centro. It is really big. I mean, big. The streets are crowded, a lot of people. Just big. I like it and all, but I don't know. I really am a person who likes to just merge into an area when I get there. I don't like feeling like an outsider when I come in and here it is difficult. Mexico is amazing, don't get me wrong. I love the people, the culture, everything. I just wish I understood the language better so I could REALLY know the people. Ah oh well.

The Return to Mexico: Regresar

2008-06-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

It started with a man in my bed.

I'll get to that later...

So. This is my third day gone and I am just updating. If you do not know, it is Wednesday here in Cordoba and I am sitting in my room watching my sister Dulce walk about and talk on the phone...in Spanish. So I guess I will give a run down of the days events.

Monday:
So we set off to the airport Monday at 3 pm to check in and go through security. Not a big problem. It is always annoying the strip downs and all. The trip from Baton Rouge to Houston is 46 minutes and in that time I talk to a girl named Kellie Colar a bit more to get to know her. Landing in Houston we spend 2 hours there eating and such, then another 2 flying out to Veracruz. Once we get there I knew. Just KNEW that my bag was going to be searched. And the fates did not let me down. I surly was. So yes. We drive another hour from the airport in Veracruz to actual Cordoba. We got in around 1 am and Claire and I are assigned to the room 305. Well, a nice man helps us up and when we get in...there was a man in my bed. Half clothed at that. He groans and we leave. Turns out it was occupied, but 405 was all in the clear. Afterwards, Claire and I share some skittles, then it is once again off to sleep. I passed out. Didn't sleep under the sheets or anything...

So now to Tuesday:

The day is eventful. We have breakfast with our families, considering we had no clue who we would be with. Virginia and Madeline found out last night on the bus that they would be staying at the Mayor's house and not with the people they thought they would. As Francisco said, we have to talk about the internet. How awesome the internet is and just...talk. So yea, the people we would be staying with would be a little different compared to those we previously stayed with. Most of the families the last go around, well all of them, were from Dickens School. This time we had nothing to do with them. Fabiola is still there, but I do not think, or do not know, who is in her group. The morning of Tuesday, Claire and I also found out that we would not be staying with each other. Apparently there were more families than there were students, so 4 of us were separated. They thought I would be okay because well, I am am older and can take Spanish. Yea I guess.

So yes. Meet the family and here is a run down. My dad's name is Mello. He is one of the members with El Fondo and what his job is, I couldn't really tell you. My mom's name it Rita and she is a dance instructor. Actually. She works in a funeral home in the morning and dance classes at night. Yea, kinda cool. Then I have an older brother named Carols. He is 18 and I think a student at the university in engineering. He doesn't talk much. I should take that back. He doesn't talk to ME much. Ah, I will rant about it later. Then I have a sister named Dulce, yes meaning sweet. She is 16 and is in the equivalence of sophomore year in Mexico. I like her. She takes point ballet classes as well and that is just kick ass.

After breakfast my family took me and basically we went to the house and hanged for a bit. I watched a recital video and talked to the mom some. It was nice. Carlos kind of just sat there and talked. Didn't really say much to me. Oh, and they told me the toilet is broken and now, Wednesday, I have witnessed and I will not use that thing for anything now...back to the day! So yea. Carlos. I like him, then I don't. He won't talk to me! It makes me so mad. It is kind of like I am not there. The whole family speaks Spanish, of course, and not much english. I think the mom and dad know more Spanish than some of the kids. Carlos apparently knows some, and I witnessed it at the end of Tuesday night when I made a comment about a game and he responded in ENGLISH...So back to the day. Then I meet Dulce for the first time and ate lunch with the family. I decided to go to Dulce's school and help her with her project. I mostly stood there because...well the girls were talking very fast and I caught one or two words. So yea. Afterwards I go with Dulce to her ballet class, which I want to say. She kicks ass. And then mom came and got me so I could bath because we were having a formal dinner. So yes. Ate in el Centro and it was fun. I talked to Claire's parents and all. So yea...

Wednesday:

So today, was a decent day. It was really the first day of work and the time period with the folks and all. I woke up early, had breakfast, in silence I might add, and then went off to work with the others for el fondo. ** Note to the reader if some Spanish ends up in here I am sorry. I find myself thinking it** So yes. It was fun. I felt kind of down the day before and really needed to get my mind off of some things. Working does that for me. I feel like I have a purpose. Something worth doing that I might have not done before. Anyways. IT was fun. The cleaning was a bit monotonous and until I actually got to fix computers did I feel useful. There was one that Claire and I have a personal vendetta against though. It worked for one moment, then like all other things in technology it starts messing up. Well. Afterwards we went back home and I finally took a 10 minute nap. I was amazed how much better I felt. For some reason I do not want anyone in the house seeing me sleep...yes I know...odd. Afterwards we had lunch and I felt very awkward. The family thinks I understand more Spanish than I let on. And it amuses me, sometimes. Afterwards I went upstairs and kind of stayed by myself until mom said we needed to go for the cultural activity.

Well. The activity is dancing. Not just any dances but the ones from Veracruz and the indeginous people of Veracruz. It was fun. I was the only one in a falta and I was able to borrow shoes...but when I was doing kicks they broke...I felt so bad. But hey, it happens. Afterwards the group went to el Fondo were practice some Spanish. It is supposed to be a class we have every day during the week, to practice and such.

So I come home and it is raining. I wait at the door and get no reply. Wait some more. Carlos finally comes in and we go in. We both go respectably to our own rooms. Then 10 minutes later, full power outage in the house. I don't really say anything, and neither does Carlos. We just...sit. So yea. The whole time I want to talk to him. I will repeat that Carlos does not talk to me. Doesn't really say anything much...so yea. I was feeling a bit depressed and all...so if you are reading this Momo...I called him. Really, I felt so much better. I don't care if the phone call will cost me $26, I felt much better after laughing. I needed it. So yea. I sat for a bit then worked up the courage to talk to Carlos. Well, we actually had a conversation. In Spanglish, but one. I was so happy. I didn't care that the lights were out, my brother was talking to me! So then Dulce comes home and the moment kind of leaves, but I am happy none the less. So she finds some matches and we are no longer in the dark. The dad comes home and he says something, so I just say, yes and all...He then tells me to pack my bags and at first I kind of just sit there, then I realize, 'hey we are going somewhere' and pack a t-shirt. Apparently he said we were going to the pool hall and that I could take a shower there...so I made it work. Oh, but one think though. Carlos...actually translated something for me! I was so happy! I couldn't stop smiling! I thought yes! He does maybe like me and doesn't think I am some stupid person from the United States. Of course we didn't talk after that...but I was very pleased.

So we get home and I am happy because I talked to Dulce more and she said she wanted to go to a movie and club this weekend...heck yea! And we ate at the house. Still didn't talk to much, but oh well. Had an issue with the dog humping my leg, but besides that it was a calm night. I watched the futbol game with me familia and the whole time I knew Argentina would win against Mexico...but I didn't say anything.

I'm back...maybe?

2008-01-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

So I have not updated in a long time. Really, I haven't been involved in the community as much as I would like. Since I haven't updated I guess I will give an update on what I have been involved in recent years.

Safe House:
The thing that made me want to help women. The place that made me shine with leadership...closed down. Yes, it was official. Sadly. It closed down for real around July of 2007. I received a grant for the computer class project that I was working on and have not used it yet. I know the 1 year deadline to use the money is approaching...So I need to make some executive descissions and see if the battered women's shelter would like some computers. If you want a more detailed update message me and I can provide more.

Mexico:
So as the blog shows, I went to Mexico in the summer of 2007. St. Joseph's Academy, my old high school, is making planes to return in the summer and once again I am on the list of potential people who can go. Will I have to pay a lot of money to go? Probably. What will we be doing? As of now I am not sure. It sounds like we will work more with the orphanage this time, rather than the schools. However, what ever we decide to do we are going to work in some sort of lab.

City Year!
So I recently signed up to be a team leader for the non profit organization City Year. I have to say I have an awesome group of high school students. Tomorrow (January 21st, 2008) will be our first service project. The team leader position is until May 2008.
Along with team leader I am going to fill out an application to take an internship with City Year. I need to get on that. The deadline is Feb. 15th...I need to revoke my old one though and start the one for Boston...I think that is where I would like to be stationed. See how it goes and such.

College?
Yes, I am in college. My second semester at that. I am majoring in computer science and international studies with a focus on environmental issues and secondary education...yeah...

So I guess that is all that has been happening. Slowly things start moving and I'm taking small steps in life. Who knows what is next. Maybe.

2007-08-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

"I was talking to my friends about where we should go when suddenly two trucks arrived at top speed with heavily armed police who pointed their guns at us… One grabbed me and threw me to the ground, shouting: ‘You thought you were a real revolutionary, no? A real rebel. Now you are going to know what that means, son of a bitch. What are you old whores doing round here?’ He hit me and I began to bleed from a cut in my forehead. Two other police officers approached and began to kick and beat me until I could no longer move. They shouted: ’We are going to fuck you like we fucked the whores in Atenco.’ They then moved on to hit the others, some of whom were already unconscious and others were on the point of collapse because of the beatings. They came back to me and dragged me towards a heap of people."
Rosalba Aguilar Sánchez, who was detained on 25 November 2006 by Federal Preventive Police in central Oaxaca City

Resource: Amnesty International (www.amnesty.org)

Where does the line go?

2007-08-04T09:48:00.001-07:00

There have been a large amount of cases of domestic violence throughout the years. Over time, it appears to be a case that many people ignore and allow it to sink in their culture. A black and blue woman, what is the big deal? If anything our society has ignored the sufferings of an expanding amount of women who face some form of violence in their lives, be it from physical or mental abuse. In the next few days I will post statistics from other countries to inform others of domestic violence and the shapes and forms it takes.

back in the states pt I

2007-07-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

So, as of now I have been back in the states for a week. Looking back on it all, it seems like it was a rush of memories that came in and left as quickly. The time I spent with my family and the children is just something I will always appreciate. There is something about being away from your work afterwards. There is always the feeling of worry and dread that comes over you. Did my work amount to anything? Will it be used correctly? Am I making a difference? Sometimes they swarm through your head, but once you are away, all you can do is hope for the best. You just have to look down at the road and say, " I did my best, sometimes I fell, but I tried." I guess that is all I can hope for. I do not think I can forget those kids, their faces, their simple laughter. I can't forget dancing for ten minutes with Eliea. I can't forget little things. The boy whose shoe would always fly off when he would kick a ball. Juan's smile. The laughter of the computer teachers when I would understand his Spanish and he my English. Small experiences that make you realize that we are not alone in the world and that we are connected. Although divided by culture, language, religion, and more on the list of life, really we are all the same. We are all flesh and bone, and we all suffer from similar pains. We even share common hand gestures. I guess it is the hippie in me coming out, but when you realize how much of the world is isolated from us because of language, it kind of pushes you back. The feeling of having a huge gust of wind knock the breath out of you. Okay, now I am ranting.

Next post: Politics of Mexico!_!

last days in Mexico

2007-07-03T13:09:00.001-07:00

June 28^th

I think one thing you learn with working with technology is sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Today we went to another private school that all ready had a computer lab set up. It was a nice format, computers on he side of the room and the chairs in the center. This school, Juan Escutia, had more problems than the previous school. The teacher, Kyke, said he said some problems with the floppies, CD drives, internet, and three computers. The school has an electrical problem. I think it had only maybe plugs in the whole room and 20 computers were to be powered from those three. So that caused a power surge and killed three computers. Also, there seems to be a problem with the internet. One side of the room always gets internet, the other does not. So we went to work. Some girls took a god d drive and floppy to test with all the computers. It turned out that all the CD drives worked, and only three floppies did not. So that went well. I allowed myself to work on the internet problem. Really, I still do not know what it is. In the main office they have a phone box that uses DSL to provide internet. From that bow it goes to the room and the routers. All the lights come on, and all the cords work…So I turned it off, turn it back on and it works…I still do not know.

That was most of the day. I’m starting to get that feeling that what I am doing does not help. Sometimes I feel that way. That what I provide is only tools. I worry that the schools will have the tools, but will not use them…I think I am just getting depressed. I know in some way I have affected someone’s life. I guess it is hard to see. I also think that since it is getting towards the end of the trip I am developing my apathetic outlook. It seems to happen no matter what. I guess another reason why I am a little down is because I feel like I should do more. I feel like I need to through myself completely into my work to help someone. I think that may be why I getting annoyed with people. Who knows. Tomorrow will be our last working day. We will go to the orphanage in the mountains again. This time we will drop off all the computers we brought with us. I do not think I will update again until Monday because I have been using one of the computers to type everything. Again, I will try to post some sort of cultural post when I get home again…I just keep typing late at night…and I seem to fall asleep. Anyways…

- you’re gonna carry the weight.

June 29^th

So Friday was our last day (sort of). In the morning we went to the Dickens school (middle school and high school) and saw the kids there. They did this whole little program where the set up the classrooms and spoke english...it was pretty cool, they went all out. Oh! and my little brother Jorge spoke english so well!!!We went to Casa Hogar again…the orphanage. It was awesome. We dropped off the laptops, but did not work on them much. It was mostly a day to hang with the kids. There was this one girl, Elaie,

who loved to dance…at one point we danced to one song for 10 minutes…long dance. I, there are no words to describe those kids. As of now I am typing from back in the states, and I can’t believe I am not in Mexico now. I just, want to help. I think of those kids. Beautiful smiling kids, and they are alone. They have each other, but I can not get over the feeling that I should just take them in my arms and say, ‘you have a home with me.’ Sometimes I feel that I could just consume the world, the dirt, water and air, and fill it with everything I have if it means someone will feel it. Tears were shed, especially when Juan left. Juan...*shakes head and laughs*

June 30^th

Went to coffee farm…oh, one of my first loves…

July 1^st

Last day with family…*tear*

July 2^nd- 3^rd

Veracruz, Mexico then Baton Rouge!

Last time I reach you from Mexico

2007-06-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

26th June, 2007

The days events have passed and now we are on to less than a week on the trip. It was the same routine as yesterday; we went to work then school. Today we visited Guadalupe Victoria, another private school. It was cute; they had a little sign that said ‘welcome SJA students.’ Personally, I liked this school a little more than yesterday. Yesterday the only student I talked to was Maria de Jesus, and she was awesome with her little bob haircut and cute pale blue scrunchy, but I felt a little more love in the school today. I also noticed that the schools seem to have a similar set up. They have the rooms with the gated windows that open up. The school buildings all seem the same but with different colors (the format being a large rectangle) and having broken glass bottles on the tops of walls (like barb wire sort of to stop anyone from trying to get in the school because the walls all low enough to run and jump). The computer teacher’s name was Rene. He seemed to know a lot about what was going on and it was interesting talking to him. He understood my broken Spanish and I understood his broken English. The problems there involved two CD-drives not working and two monitors were dead. Unfortunately we could not fix them. One being because the monitors were just, well dead essentially, and two, because the CDs were not reading any CDs and it was easier for the time to just get them a new CD drive. We will have El Fondo get them the new items. We also showed some kids and an older man the inside of the computer. Those kids are smart, smarter than me at least. They have a great memory of all the things that were told to them. Oh and there was a que padre chico named Alexis. He is a shy one. Jessica, /Katherine, and I played basketball with him. He wouldn’t let me take a picture of him but I was able to get a few, well Katherine was.
After that we left for the day. Oh, and when we got picked up there was this little girl in our car. Her name was Gabbie. Oh, she was so small and cute! And she liked The Who and the Japanese music I was playing!_! *squee* I wish I had a picture of her, she was so sweet. So yes, that was most of the day. I really do not feel like talking about school. It was school. We learned kitchen objects (through a badly organized version of memory, but Leo is cool so it was okay) and also clothing (through role playing and watching Sam to a very scary, but good job at being a small child). We took Katherine home because Foviola could not pick her up (she was staying at the house with Jessica who had a bad migraine). So we (Matilda and I ) took Katherine downtown Fortin, which we came to the conclusion was so much better than downtown Cordoba because it was small and had break dancers (how can you beat that???) Oh, and I should also type this. Hannah is leaving for USA because she has been sick. Poor girl, she couldn’t keep up any of her food and she has low blood pressure. Feel better Hannah! Now back to the house. We had some awesome fresh bread from the pandaria (which you get a big silver plate and put all the bread you want on it) and made sandwiches. Then Matilda and I just hanged with our mom and dad. Now I am here listening to The Who…again.
Hmmm…and I have been on a constant search for the political agenda of Mexico. I feel it is kind of like…well Louisiana. Conservative with its crazy liberals. I am on the search for the homosexuals! I know Fovilola said she knew some people who are gay, but like Matilda said, the younger generation seems to be more open minded, at least in that sense. I still do not know. At my house we have dial up, and it is not used often. I can’t look up the political parties…so I think at the end of the trip and when I am back in the states I will have a ‘cultural discussion’ afterwards. Stay tuned!

June 27th

After realizing that Wednesday was not the 28th, but the 27th, I now start to type the adventures in Mexico!!! So yes. Today we went to another school. Again, this one was private and had the same rectangle format as the other schools. The difference? The colors were brown and beige and also the computer lab was upstairs! It is the only room upstairs. The lab itself was in great condition. Apparently they received a government grant for maybe 10-15 computers. The rest were provided by El Fondo. So when we got there, we really did not know what to do. They have a technician that just recently came by to look at all the computers and make sure they work. So really there was nothing to fix. So we kind of stood around awkwardly at first. Oh, it should also be mentioned that today was the first day for John to be gone. For those just now reading, Hannah had to leave, and John was going with her. In his place we have the new Spanish teach, Amanda, from St. Joseph here. So yes. We decided we were going to teach the kids how to take apart a computer (what is in it and all) and also how to make Cat 5 cables. It all seemed to go well at the time. I meet a cool kid named Kassandra. She volunteered to make a Cat 5 cable so she is awesome in my back. And I felt very loved when she decided to sit by me to learn about power point (though I am no that great of a teacher). So yes. There we were putting all the computers together and then we are about to leave and we notice one of the monitors will not turn on, then we notice another. Then we noticed a pattern. The ones we took apart were not working…so yeah. I still do not know why. Of course the one I work on does not work and towards the end it did not turn on at all. So I was pissed. We had to leave there with two broken computers when previously all of them were working. The computer teacher said it was okay and that they were having problems previously…but I felt like a failure for awhile afterwards.

Afterwards we went to the Spanish classes. This time we went to a sort of mini Wal Mart and went around naming things. It was interesting. We all came to the conclusion that Leo is just awesome and I still think Ricardo (?) is Don Quixote in some weird way.

So yes, then we hung out with our family. Oh! And I feel much love because little Jorge is showing more love. He kisses me and hugs me a lot, so it feels nice. I think I am growing closer to him and slightly distancing myself from the rest of the family. I have no clue why. So anyways. We went out to eat and then to get coffee. We played pool and yeah…it was interesting, but really the game is not my cup of tea.

That is mostly it for now. Besides Matilda getting her ass tapped by some dude at the billiard hall, nothing much happened. The days are going and all that is left will be five. We have one more school to visit, then Friday we see the orphanage one last time. Saturday we decided to go see the coffee farm instead of Puebla (even though I found out it has the Aztec pyramids and we are not going…so a little pissed). Sunday is family time then we leave Monday. I still need to take some more city pictures and such. We will see how it goes.

Do I dare disturb the universe?

So far

2007-06-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

June 22nd, 2007 – Jueves

Today was an interesting day in Cordoba. This morning started off with the typical, wake up and get ready for work. Today (the 22nd) we went to the public schools in the mountains. Previously, no one in our group went to these schools. So it was an experience. It was about an hours drive up bumpy uphill roads. There were many girls holding on to their chests during the trip. The first school we visited was the secondary school (basically middle school). They had some of the computers already in there and just needed to be set up. However, some of the windows were missing. This may not seem like a big deal but for those not there, you will need a little more information.

The public schools in Mexico are run by the government. This sounds familiar right? Well, it is not like the ones back in the States. Here (Mexico) the government basically allows for a community to be built, builds the foundation, and then leaves. You may be thinking, so what big deal? Well, you need to know a little more. The government basically leaves the community to themselves. Maybe they will come by one more time of the community asks to fix something, but it will be only one more time. No more. So the community (the families) will do everything. This includes the food as well. So we have a community of families supporting these schools and did I mention that these schools are for kids in at least 9 different regions? Yeah. So there are some kids walking in the mountains for 1 ½ hours to get to school. Another thing. When the schools are established, the government sometimes puts a TV or something like that in there. These TVs are in cages and they have the keys, so if you want to add on to anything…well you have to go around a cage because the government has the key.

So anyways, what we did today was basically go to four schools (secondary-middle school, primary- high school, elementary, and kindergarten). The purpose was to get acquainted with the schools and see what it was like. Again, no one was there before so we had to know the floor plane. We also needed to know the floor plan to see if the computers could support the computers. So yes. You could see me and Joe walking around with the tablet drawing barbaric blue prints and Katherine and Jessica holding a camera and video camera to get documentation of all the objects, electrical work, and other things in the room. Once we hit the elementary school I was walking around trying to find the measurements and sketching as much as I could. So there is a lot of work we will be doing. These schools will be where all the computers go. Right now it almost seems overwhelming. They want to use as much as they can, but we still have to figure out how we are going to do it all. Like that classroom I mentioned earlier. It was missing windows…and the plugs were on the floor. If you did not know, but when it rains, the plugs can get wet…Not good for electronics. So that means we have to do more work. We have to think of the logistics behind everything to make sure whatever we are doing is one right the first time and will work for a long time afterwards.

After all that we ate at one of the houses of the school kids. They made actual Mexican food. At first it was an awkward moment because…I am a vegetarian…so I could not eat the meat, but the family was very cool about the whole thing and brought me other things to eat. I felt loved. After that we went straight back down the mountain and went home…

Of course when we get home the family made lunch. I felt like I needed to eat it because I knew that they made food for me (vegetarian)…so I felt I could not turn it down. So I ate an empanada, pasta, and this desert that Frida made…oh, it was good. It tasted like king cake, but was with a lemon taste…I had seconds. After that we went to school.

Today was our first conversation class. It involved us paying ‘Mexican bingo.’ It was. Interesting. Afterwards we went downtown again. This time it was more of a tour of the downtown area. Things like the history of all the buildings and such. It was interesting. If I had my pamphlet I would type some of the information…however, I do not. I’ll scan some pages and put some pictures up later. One of the best parts was Katherine and I singing la vie bohemia the whole time and me saying the ‘masturbation’ part.

After that Faviole picked us up to go to Santa Fe…

So that was the day, summed up in little words. I just…am still thinking about all the work we still need to do…I had some work with the safe house, and I know how hard it can be to get everything together for a computer lab. It just seems like you add computers…but there is a lot more to it. There is so much technical work that has to be done. Sometimes it can blow your brain. However, although this day had its high points and low points, I just need to keep looking forward. Sometimes it is all you can do

June 23rd- 25th

So, today is the 25th, Monday, and the weekend has passed and so has the first Monday of the trip. So I guess I will start with the weekend:

Saturday:
We had planned to go on some field trips on Saturday. We planned to go to a coffee farm; however, things turned out differently. We traveled up in the mountains and then realized that we were booked to go on a tour of Las Canna. So maybe I should talk a little about this place. It is basically like its own EcoWorld, the places in California that were established by hippies who wanted to get way from society and such. Well, it is kind of the same. The guy there went to school to be a farmer. His father was a farmer and when he left the university he went to work on the land of his father. Well, the set up they have is like this. Mass marketing has called for lots and lots of meat. So the farmers get a lot of cows for the land. However, the land is hilly. The cows slowly corrode the hills and make it flat. In Mexico, it rains a lot and that causes the land to wash away, like in Louisiana with the wetlands. Also, when the USA came in to teach the farmers, the taught them how to use chemicals. Well, those ran out, so there was a generation of farmers who were left in the dust with no knowledge of how to go on. So basically mass farming has killed these local farmers who can not compete on a global level. Well, this pissed the guy off and he decided (after much reading) that he would start his own local farm. So he talked to some local farmers and they essentially formed a sort of communist lifestyle. The grow all their own food, enough to sustain them, and sometimes sell on the side. They also have animals, but not a lot. Everything is organic in the United States sense. Also, all the local farmers who joined do the labor. Some schools even come by to learn from them. Along with this is the conservation aspect. Since the land was corroding away, they decided to plant some trees and let them grow. The results are actually amazing. He described it as a mixture of both North and South American plants. It was like a jungle. We went on a two hour walk around most of it. Now here is the part I found slightly cultish…Well, he and the farmers took their children out of the school. His logic is that the system is corrupt and if they stay in the system they will be taught the wrong way. Essentially this limits the children dramatically because they do not receive any form of formal education. They also have odd rituals that they have developed around their life to bring a communal effect. Anyways…that was that. If you have questions comment and I’ll answer.
Saturday night we all went to Club Moo. It was fun, we danced to techno, but then it went to some band music and…it was okay.

Sunday:
This was mostly a free day. We went swimming with Juliana. I have to say she is pretty cool. She made us bracelets and swam with us till 4pm. It was cool. Then we went to church. Here in Mexico there is more singing and the mass seems… at least a little more lively compared to what is in the states. Oh, and they do not hold hands during the Our Father and apparently the priest does not know what it means when some one crosses their arms over their chest during the Eucharist. After that we kind of walked around, had coffee, went downtown for helado, then home.
I also learned some about the politics around here. There are two political parties and they are like the ones in the states. I do not know how each one swings but from what I gathered, and thought, Mexico seems conservative in values. Take for example abortion when Mexico City legalized abortion there were a lot of protest marches. I till haven’t gathered how they feel about homosexuality. I will assume it is a no. I think I have not seen anything yet, except maybe one girl who I still can’t stop thinking about. Oh well.

Monday:
Well, I learned that we will not visit any of the places (schools) more than once. The one in the mountains, we were putting a ground work of what needs to be done so when we come back next trip we can install everything. Today we went to a private school and fixed the computers. There was a power surge and some were not working. A lot of the problems were just mice and keyboard problems. Some girls also taught on power point and on word. We were just teaching some basics , things we think everyone knows. It was interesting. I decided to just fix the hard ware because, again, my Spanish was not great and I kind of wanted to work with my hands. I felt like I came there to fix the tools and whatever they wanted to do with the tools is up to them. I guess that is one way of putting it. I also felt like I came here to fix computers, so I should do that. Anyways. The school was nice, except in floods sometimes, which is not good because the surge protectors are on the ground and I think some of them were screwed up before the power surge. Oh, and the internet cabals run under ground as well and half the ones in the classroom went bad. Oh, the kids loved Encarta. They thought it was awesome. At the end Katherine, Jessica, Matilda, and I were teaching three kids how to troubleshoot a computer. Maybe one day they could be software engineers. It really is amazing what they could do one day and I do not think that is hitting me till now. There is so much potential in the world and you only need to help it grow. Mexico is just like the USA in many ways but also different.

And it begins...in Mexico!_!

2007-06-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

The trip to Cordoba, Mexico started June 19th. It involved a trip from 5-2:30 AM on an airplane flight that transferred from Baton Rouge, to Houston, then to Veracruz. After that we traveled in a packed (very packed) bus to Cordoba where we were dropped off with our families. I am in the house with Matilda. The family we are staying with for the next 15 days is the Castillo’s. Our father’s name is Jorge, our mother Gia, hermana Frida, and our hermono es Jorge tambien. They are very nice. When we arrived I told them I was a vegetarian. I lucked out and got the one family with a son who is a vegetarian. Lucky…I know. We stay in Frida’s room. So far everything is great. On the 20th we went to the downtown area of Fortin (where we stay). Frida and Jorge took us around and showed us the town. We went to the park, the library, and a lot of other places. We also ate this ice cream called cubitas. It is sort of like a Popsicle. It was very tasty. Nuestras madre y papa own (?) a pet spa. Afterwards we went to our first Spanish classes. It was…we different. Leo talked fast and my Spanish is..eh…Matilda has been translating a lot for me. She talks to everyone. On the 20th (Wednesday) we meet nuestra’s madre (abuela). Also, we went with all the other girls to a coffee shop with Favilol. She is awesome. She speaks English very well and she shows a different aspect to the city.

Today (the 21st) we went to el Fondo. From there we went to the orphanage in the country. The kids, I love them. They tried to understand my slow English and I tried to understand them. I meet some kids like Xochita, Rosola, Ricardo, etc. I played futbol for awhile. I fell in the mud two times and was hit in the face with the ball as well. The ride over there was interesting as well. It went from small city, to nothing. The orphanage is out in a huge country type atmosphere. There are a lot of trees, grass, everything. It is hard to explain and when I edit this I will do more. After the good bye, which involved a small child crying in Courtney’s arms. We went to our respective homes. It involved an awkward conversation about how I thought yesterday Matilda ate brains, I felt like an ass, but I meet a cool girl named Juliana who will teach Matilda how to swim. Next, we went to the Spanish classes, which were better because there was more…action…at 6 we went to downtown Cordoba and saw a lot of dancing. The Cuba and the Veracruz one. Some of the girls were asked to dance(Sam, Hanna, and Kelsey who stood still most of the time). The dance is specifically for Veracruz and the outfits they wore are as well. Some guys gave some girls some flowers and then Favilolo picked us up. Now I am in a room with a bad battery typing.

Cordoba, is beautiful. Something about the mountains, the people, the atmosphere. It reminds me of New Orleans in the Spanish sense. You start to think about how all the girls are so similar. They listen to Panic at the Disco, all the thing we (USA) like, but we are separated by language. It is almost amazing. Just, words can block us, when really we are the same. However, this can be overcome with hand movements (something I have used often). I plan to blog again, I just need to edit this stuff when I get back in America. Signing out.

A new administration?

2007-06-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

It seems that the Safe House will be going under some new administration. I have yet to decide how I will feel about this. On the one hand it is new administration, much better than the political turmoil of the last one. However, the new administration is Healing Place Church, and evangelical church that...just rubs me the wrong way. The papers have not been signed yet, but all looks in the favor of them going through with it. I guess I have no say in the matter. As long as they do not touch the computer lab I am okay. My mother seems to believe that the Safe House will no longer be shelter for woman, rather tit will be a head quarters for the group. If that happens the computers leave. Serious. Sometimes I feel like all the worst possible situations happened at the Safe House. I say this now, and tomorrow I will hear something worse...I guess I can only go forward with the project. Besides all that the room is still in shape. Still no internet. Also, I still need to get a table and two monitors. One of the girls was able to get Mavis Beacon software for the project from her old school, which is awesome. I'll have to deal with that later though. I'll be gone for two weeks, and after that my time wiill be devoted to the Safe House yet again.

3 months later- The political game

2007-06-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

Although I have seen events pass before my eyes, I think I may never understand a person's own political agenda.

As of now it seems that everything is at a stand still. Since my last post I was able to get an $820.00 grant from Youth Venture and even have the majority of the room done. There were moments of terror that the Safe House would be closed down, and in these past weeks that fear has come to life.

The Safe House was closed. It was closed due to extreme political disorder in the board. I sit terrified that I will lose my grant at any moment. I fear that my moderator of the project will say, "We are getting out." I mostly fear that I will not be able to play with those children and speak to those women in the shelter.

The days are going by and tomorrow I will try to get as much done for the safe house as I can. When there was the fear that we would lose the room from the board, the small group I gathered began to work in quick pases to finish the room. All that is left is to: bring in a table, the two desktops and monitors, and also install some sort of internet in the room. This is a much larger task then it seems. In the mean time I will try to get the first half done, then later the internet problem.

Tomorrow I will be trying to plan the classes we will teach and help at the safe house. I want to help, I want the room to be successful. In those months I was with the women and children I grew very attached to them. I have some pictures (which I was not supposed to take) of the children playing. I want them to be happy. I want the women to be successful. I'll keep trying...I just have to get the courage to post on Youth Venture about this hole in the road.

The Project

2007-01-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

So. I have been placed head of a project for a battered women's shelter. This shelter is a faith based (the only in the state) and houses women with boys. If you do not know much about these types of shelters, they usually do not hold the women to long and boys are not allowed. This one allows the women to stay until they can get on their feet, so for a while, but not years...

The project is to convert one of the unused rooms into a computer lab/lecture room/craft area for the women and children. The computers can serve for job searches and a place for children to get online schooling while moving in between the shelters and home. It will serve as a lecture area for speakers who may come to teach life lessons for the women. The craft area will serve as a place for both the children and the women. Again, it will serve as an area to learn job skills etc...

So right now I need to find grants and money for it. I work with computers, and I have many donated things, but money is still an issue. We need wireless, decoration materials, printers, wires, things that I think my mind can not fully grasp. I'm still trying to set up some idea of a small committee to help me, but everyone seems to look at it and say 'that is a good idea' and do nothing.

I think it will all work out though. I will be stopping by the shelter tomorrow with three others who I hope will help in the designing. It will work. I know it will. i just have to get it started and finished before I leave...

2007-01-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

Wow...I made a blog...anyways. Hello internet people *waves* I am called the Duck by those who know me, but that is another story.

This blog is to just post about random human rights activities that I help out in. I am also trying to connect technology, education, and human rights into a massive chain of things as well. So that will be a major point as well. Have fun reading about the life of myself, or at least some of it...

Duck