Things turn and go and I wonder where I go

It has been an interesting time thus far in City Year. I spend moments where I feel like "this is what I want to do with my life" and others where I am torn in each direction and I sit down wondering who I am.

It may have a lot to do with my kids. They are all very dynamic. They all are a bit active, in a behavior sort of way. One of my students was kicked out of our after school program and I don't know how to handle it. Almost like I don't know what the point pf the program is without him anymore. And I think the thing that bothers me the most is I didn't try to defend him. I let him leave, and I guess I feel weak, like I should have fought for him. But really...I don't know. Repeating past mistakes and hoping that in the morning no one will know. I don't know. I just don't know.